Me!!!

Well, I have an hour to kill...so I'm attempting to put a pic of me on my blog...anyone else notice many of my post start with "Well..."...ACK...what a habit!!

Halloween Weekend

I went to a party this weekend at Melissa's house. Melissa is a friend I met through Melvin. Mi is back in town now, so she came along with Little Sara. The party was really fun. Gus and Heidi showed up, but left after Melissa told Heidi that we were going to "have a good night" and Heidi said "maybe"...so they left. I met a reallt cool guy, who I came to find out is Melissa's baby brother. He's really cool and he likes me, so we'll see what happens there. His name is Joey and he's 18...so yay me for talking to a guy my age...HAHA. He actually asked for my number and called when he said he would...a definiant plus. Melissa came up to me at the party and told me that she really likes me and trust me, but that if I hurt her baby brother she'll kill me. i decided not to ask what constitutes "hurting" him....I mean if i accidentally step on his foot, is she going to come bursting from a closet and kill me?? An important thing to ponder. He's cool though, and very charming. I'm so happy Mi is home. She's been gone about six months now. It's wierd having her back too...I actually have someone to hang out with other than Melvin. I have also gotten to hang out with Lil' Sara more, because she and Mi have been hanging out. I got to see Sunshine on Saturday before the party, and he gave us a ride from my house to Mi's, and gave us some food he had gotten from a dumpster... a considerate gesture, given that he had to get in the dumpster to get those Honey Buns. I love Sunshine...he's a tree hugger, enviromentalist, vegitarian, and all around granola head. At some point we'll have to hang out for real...I mean other than him giving us a ride and near-rotten fruit. Yea, Sara left the party early...so all my crap is in her car...well now it's at Mi's...drat!!! I have to figure some way to get it back...and pronto...all my makeup is in thos bags!!!! I have yet to decide if I will be trick-or-treating with neone...or if I will stay home rather than brave the cold to get candy that will make me fatter...hmmmm.....decisions....decisions. Well, I'll havef lots of time to decide, seeing as Mom will be here to pick me up at 4:30...even tho school is out at 3:30...hmm....I wonder if they would care if I curl up in the commons area on a table...Ok, well thts about all the random crap I can come up with right now...well all that is approriate....Laterz

October 24, 2005

I am happy to report that th elast week or so has been blissfully uneventful. School is going well. Having two math classes pretty much sucks, but it's not too bad. Things with Heidi have finally settled down. I got to babysit Lil Melvin (Melvin's son) on Thursday, which was fun. I also got to see Kim. Cat bought a house, and will be renovating it for the next few months, so it will be ready in less than a year. This is good news because I can hang out there...since there is no crazy girlfriend. We have new goats at the house...Ringo (a baby who looks suspiciously like a small dragon) and Paul. They are adorable. My grandparents came last weekend, and although the visit was short, it was really good to see them. Same crap different day, but the mundane is much apprieciated right now.

Poor Girl

Well, first off...I owe my friend an appology. It was never my intention to hurt anyone, merely to inform those involved in the situation of the actions of a certain party. I had posted in my super-duper long post a conversation between Gus and myself. In doing so, I didn't consider his feelings, or the fact that things said were not common knowledge in the group. I realized that this conversation was a breech of our confidence as friends. I posted to vent, not to inflict any more pain, or cause any more friction. I am sorry that I posted the conversation between Gis and myself, and feel the need to clarify that he is my friend, and no matter what he does or says, will always be important to me.

Now...Heidi on the other hand, I posted our conversations, and will continue to do so, as long as she feels the need to talk to me. I have not been to the guys house in two weeks. I have not talked to Gus since calling him a week ago to ask him to talk to Heidi and have her leave me alone. I have started a conversation with Heidi one time, and that was right after my initial conversation with Gus. Since then, she has continued to talk to me, insult me, and attempt to provoke me. Today she felt the need to talk to me, yet again. She informed me that my post had been hurtful to Gus...this is of course after I removed the conversation between he and I. Now, she is at the point of threatening me. She is no longer hurting me or upsetting me, so she is more and more frustrated. I have continued to attempt to reason with her, but to no avail. I won't talk to her any more, but will continue to post her messages, if she feels the need to continue sneding them.

Heidi : Why would you post all of your conversations on a blog for everyone to read? Even i am not that mean...i dont care what you do to me but that was wrong to try and hurt Gus
Jerra : didnt try to hurt gus
Jerra : wanted to vent, he doesnt even read it
Heidi : Melvin reads it and if i am not mistaken, Gus had said some things to you that he wouldve rather kept private
Heidi : there are other ways to vent than to post what ia making you mad
Heidi : is*
Jerra : well, i'm sorry if i hurt gus, but tht wasnt the point, and i'm sorry if i upset you, but i still have yet to do anything to you to merit yuor treatment of me
Jerra : so...say what you want, but i'm over the whole thing, Gus is my friend, but teh way he handled this stuff really hurt me...I love him liek a brother, and it hurts to be so easily discarded
Heidi : well jerra i mean you kind of brought it upon yourself...and i think that you were trying to hurt him or get back at him for treating you like that. FYI when someone tells you something about someone else and you KNOW it is for your ears only then dont post it where everyone can read it. If i loved someone in the way you love him...hell if i loved anyone in any manner i wouldnt do that friend or not. Gus is just looking out for what makes him happy and that is me so by you being there i am not as happy as i could be bec. u are a skank
Heidi : im sorry you are hurt but it is the way it has to be
Jerra : yea, its fine...I am going to appologize to Gus, and i know that will piss you off, but i never meant to get back at him by doing that, i was angry at the time, and have since taken off that part...I dont think things have to be this way, but for now i think we all need some time
Jerra : i would like if at some point we could at least talk in person ya know, i'm trying my best to not be mean, or dramatic, or behave poorly
Jerra : and I'm trying not to piss you off
Heidi : jerra you have already behaved poorly and been dramatic thats why all of this has started...you ahve also already pissed me off and i hold a grudge. I dont want to talk to you in person or ever again for that matter. i suggest not talking to gus if u know what is good for you
Jerra : lol...a threat...HAHA
Jerra : great
Heidi : it isnt a threat...
Heidi : just a warning if you will
Jerra : you're the one who keeps talkin to me
Heidi : you are the one who keeps starting shit
Jerra : nope
Jerra : havent started nething...if you remember, you were the one who freaked and started shit rather than just talking to me
Jerra : I'm done with this shit, you're irrational, and I'm not doing it nemore
Heidi : i tried talking to you but then you decided to keep on and keep on and im sorry the little bit of redneck in me wont let it slip
Heidi : i get pissed when little ho's try to start shit
Jerra : I have appologized
Jerra : I have tried to explain
Jerra : it doesnt matter hon
Heidi : well i hate you so get over it
Jerra : been over it
Heidi : leave me AND gus alone
Jerra : so stop talkin to me
Heidi : consider yourself warned
Heidi : buh bye now
Jerra : warned
Jerra : HAHAHA
Heidi : im telling you bitch if u know what is good for you
Jerra : uv never seen me pissed, dont try it
Heidi : What is that supposed to mean exactly? dont try it? ha like im scared
Jerra : oh chill, you dont bother me enuff for me to do nething
Jerra : LOL
Heidi : you know what jerra i dare you..i dare you to try anything b/c i could kick your ass...you arent shit to me...or anyone else for that matter so why dont you take your own advice and just leave Gus and i alone...i HATE you

We definitly clarified that she hates me, thank goodness. I just don't understand why the poor girl can't leave it alone. I can't do anything else, and I dont plan to. i'm not going to tip-toe around some chick who can't even respect what I have done. It is very clear to me that she is looking for a confrontation, and she isn't worth the effort. There is nothing to be gained by talking to her any more. There is certainly nothing to be gained from fighting her, or whatever it is that she is suggesting. I am happy and have my own life to lead, and she is not worth worrying about. I am sorry for her more than anything. I kno wthat she has had a rough life. I know that her family life has been hard. I know that she has scars that run deep, and that things i did inadvertantly struck a nerve. I also know that Gus is a good man, and that she sees that and is doing all in her power to hld on to him. i respect where she is coming from, just not the means she has employed to reach the end. I hope that Heidi sees one day that not all men are like those that hurt her in her past, that she can trust without fear of being hurt, and that I want nothing more than to be a friend to her and Gus. I know she is a good person, and although she has been cruel to me, she is good to Gus. I am hoping that this will be the end of this crap, and that we can all move on, and I intend to.

A good day, finally

Well, today has been a really good day. I had my first day of my new classes today. i'm taking 2nd semester Geometry, second semester Trig, and Sports Medicine. I found out when i got to school that I did, in fact, pass my 1st semester trig class, and not with a D like I expected, but with C. I was like "flippin sweet!". Then, I got my score back today for all those stupid graduation tests I took la few weeks ago. I passed the English portion with a pass plus in the 97th percentile state-wide, math with a pass plus in the 93rd percentile, social studies with a pass plus in the 93rd percentile, and science with a pass in the 84th percentile. 500 is passing on all the tests i got 574 english, 561 math, 546 social studies, and 527 in science. I am soooo happy...its nice to feel smart. I also have a very cute guy in my sports medicine class...who sits right next to me....SCORE! When mom picked me up, I found out that Melvin called last night, at like 12:30...so she wasnt happy about it, but he did call. I was glad t5hat he had at least made that effort. He called again today and I got to talkk to him. He still loves me...which is good. I was really worried that he too was goiong to "vote me off the island". So things are really good now. I would also like to thank Kim. She was dragged into this drama with heidi the other night, by heidi. I talked to Kim and told her the things Heidi had said, and Kim was a big facilitator in clarifyong things, and fixing stuff with Melvin. SO, Kim, thankyou for everything you've done. You were really there for me at a time when I felt really alone. ok, well off to bed...gotta get my beauty rest. Oh, and thankks to chazzz, a man who reminds me that there are good guys in this world, and who would kick heidi's ass for me if need be. I love all ya'll, and thanks for your advice and support.

Fuck Drama and the Bitch it rode in on

Ok, so this post requires a back story. I really only have two friends here. Gus and Melvin. Until recently, I spent most of my weekends with them. They have been there for me when i needed them. I care about them both a lot. Well, a few weeks ago Gus asked me out, I said I didn't want to risk our friendship, and that was the end of it. In the past, Melvin and I have had some brief romantic interludes, but I'm a virgin, and tried to never let things go too far. I love Melvin, but he is not the kind of man that I would marry. We are just really good friends now. Gus has recently aquired a girlfriend by the name of Heidi. They met online, and fell for eachother fast. The first night I met her I was astounded by how similar we are. We look alike, are the same age, have similar home lifes, and just have a lot in common. Well, Heidi decided thaty I was after Gus. So there was drama from the start. Several nights were spent by the otehrs in the house trying to calm her down. Apparently hugging a friend means you are after them. SO she would get pissed off because i would do something that she was sure i did only to piss her off, and then she would freak out. Well I talked to her several times, always telling her the same thing, and always trying to reassure her that I was not, in fact, after Gus. Well, things didn't get any better. gus started being rude to me when she was there, and then later telling me that he just had to act mean so she wouldn't get angry. Some outside sources told Heidi that I liekd Gus, and this set her off. She freaked out yet again, and yet again, Gus calmed her down. Well, about three weeks ago Heidi got drunk with Melvin's gf and she proceeded to tell drunk belidgerant Heidi that I am sleeping with Gus. Heidi tears upstairs and wakes Gus up screaming and crying. She is convinced that he has been cheating on her with me. So I im Gus that day, just kind of checking on him and what not, and I get this load of crap dumped on me. And he tells me about how he and Melvin almost got in a fight because aparantly he was the one who told his chick the crap that she told Heidi. So I decide it would be best if I dont see them for awhile. It really hurts to be told by your friends that they dont want you around because the girlfriend is more important that you. So I was upset. I sent Heidi a message, just saying that I wouldn't be around and tht it took me losing my friends, but now she wouldn't have to worry. (I have since removed my conversation with Gus, He is my friend, and things said between friends should remain private).So I thought that was the end of the drama and that I could just move on. Wellso i sent a message to Heidi and then we have been messaging back and forth, so she's pretty much a crazy psycho bitch.
Jerra: Heidi, this is Jerra, I know you hate me...trust me, I know...and I know you want nothing to do with me, but this is really important ok...so when you're on can you please let me know. I really need to talk to you.
Jerra: Well, i guess i can just tell you here
Jerra: I talked to Gus tonight, and he told me about all the crap that has been happening, and how you think that I'm after him, or that there was something between us. I know you probably don't believe me, but there never was. I love Gus as a friend, and nothing more. I have been so happy lately to see him with you and see that he is happy. You are really good for him. Melvin has caused a lot of drama, whether on purpose or by accident idk, by bringing me around. I have tried my best to talk to you and let you know the situation. I even tried to help you that night at Applebees to keep you out of trouble. You seem to believe everyone but me, and that's ok. I just want you to know that because of you I won't be seeing Melvin or Gus anymore. They both insisted that it's not nessicary, but I think it is best. You won ok. I was never after him. I care too much about him to see him go through crap every time i'm there. So I gave up those people I care about most, people that I consider family so that you will feel assured that he and I have nothing between us. It hurts a lot to have to just say goodbye to the people who have been there for me for a year, but I don't think that there is any other way. I wish you all luck, and I hope that now you won't worry anymore. I'm sorry if anything I did or said made you think i was after him. You don't have to write me back, but I just want you to know that I am not going to be there or talk to them anymore.

Heidi: Jerra?
Heidi: I just got your messages...i am never online except when i am at gus' so thats why it has taken so long for me to respond to your messages. I never meant to freak out about you being around and i even tried--several times--not to. It is just that the first night i met you you sat there and told me how gus and recently expressed his undying love for you and it turns out it wasnt true...i dont understand that. Gus told me that when you guys were talking he said that he didnt want you to come over so what do you mean they insisted it wasnt necessary? I was told what had to be happening if you were to come over and i mean i had no choice but to deal if those circumstances were to be in effect. The reason you and Gus had a talk the other night was because crystal and i had been drinking and she told me that melvin had to take you home that morning. Well melvin and gus were asleep so she was telling me that melvin said he'd never cheat on her and stuff so i was like well i left last night at 1:00 am so i dont know jerra was here that early i the morning. If you would like to tell me that would be wonderful...gus told me he didnt know but i had gone upstairs and tried to wake him up to ask him and hwen he didnt wake up..me in my drunken state i ripped the sheets off and was asking him then. That started shit with melvin and he went down stairs and started yelling at melvin b/c he is giving crystal a story and he is giving me a story. Gus didnt want to be used as melvins scapegoat and thats why there was so much drama then opposed to any other time. Jerra i wanted to get along I really did and we have SOOO much in common. we even have similarities in appearance (few i guess but there are some lol FAT CHICKS!! lol) im kidding but i think that if we would have met under any other circumstances that we would have been best friends. We have similar family lives and everything. i am just a very jealous girl i ahve a trust issue and it is something i am working on...it is a downfall that i have. I am sorry that i have made it seem as though i hate you and i even have said it a few times but i don think i could ever really say it with conviction because i dont even know you and i suppose that is my fault. Im sorry that i pushed gus to do what he did the other night and i guess that is the bad part of a girlfriends influence on her boyfriend. The reason he did it tho was b/c it started to affect him directly. I wasnt informed that you were here that night which is probably another reason why i flipped, but the reason i wasnt otld is so that i wouldnt flip. b/c it was a dead issue. I hold a grudge against you for previous things and htat is why i flip. First, the whold first night i met you thing..second, when we were both here and gus walked in and you jumped in front of me so i couldnt go give him a hug when he got home from work..like you just HAD to jump in front of me--i love him and it hurts me when things like that happen, third, i was relayed a message that you told kim and nichole that you liked gus and that i was right. I asked nichole and she said it was what she had heard and that she could tell ti wasnt like you told her. I later found out that Kim was the instigator and that she likes to start drama. I dont know her and the only other time i ahve ever been around her was applebees i was jsut told by several ppl that she is an instigator of drama and so i am sorry for freaking out about that one...that was probably the one that really got me going. I think that maybe you and i just need to talk about this and figure it all out...i would love it if we would have become friends and everyhting b/c we are the same age and everything and we have so much in common. I guess i just am one of those ppl who need constant reassurance and everything. i know gus loves me he tels me constantly...he asks me to marry him all the time and i am supposed to move in as soon as i can...probably in a few months...the way he holds me and
Jerra: Well, it just seems to me like there is a whole lot of drama over nothing. That first night you were there, what i said to you was that gus had asked me out and i had said no....my purpose was to reassure you. I don't like Gus like that, and frankly bnever could. I love Gus like a brother, and that's all. When he and I talked the other night what he said was that he couldn't ask me not to come over, it was me who said that I would stop. I understand you being jealous, but you really never had anything to worry about with me. Melvin tells a lot of poeple a lot of stories. Keep in mind that pretty much nething he tells Krystal is a lie, and anything you hear from Kim is tainted. DOes it make any sense at all for me to try so hard to get a long with someone's girlfriend if I was in love with them...no. I would never do anything to try to take gus away from you. He is happy and you are good for him. I have my own life and plans, and none of them involve Gus. I think it would be good for the two of us to talk, but I won't be telling you anything I haven't already. I am sorry things have gone the way they have, and it took me losing my friends for you to feel better, but thts what it took. So, I'm just gonna stay outta the drama, becuase it really doenst have anything to do with me. Ya'll need to figure this shit out for your own sake. All I can say is that I have at this point done everything in my power to show you that my intentions are not to get Gus, and frankly at this point I don't even want to see him...so ya know. Well, i hope everything is going well for you, and that
the guys are all doing ok, tell nicole i said hi, and i guess if the guys ask tell them i said hi.
Heidi: Well Jerra i tried to be nice in the last messages that i sent! Why the hell are you flipping out? Its good that you dont want to see Gus because he probably doesnt want to see your manish ass anyways. Ill tell N-I-C-H-O-L-E that you said hi, ill tell the guys too although they wont ask about you. lol!!! who would? Now that you are gone all of the drama IS sorted out now that your drama causing ass is gone..been nice knowing ya. Oh and by the way next time you are gonna spread your legs make sure you dont ahve to lie to yourself and everyone else to make yourself feel better.
Jerra: wow, not sure what thts all about
Heidi: you being a douche thats what thats about
Jerra: i dont get why you're so angry
Heidi: Jerra it isnt that im angry...you jsut wont pick a mood...one minute you are nice and the next you are sending me shitty messages when i am trying to be nice
Jerra: and the only reason im upset is because i'm being accused of something i didnt do
Heidi: and what is that?
Jerra: what did i say that was shitty?
Jerra: im really sorry ok
Heidi: it took me losing all of my friends blah blah blah..you need to get your drama shit sorted out....
Jerra: this has just been hard on me
Heidi: like it is all my fault
Heidi: im not the only one who doesnt like you
Jerra: its not all your fault
Jerra: who else doesnt like me
Jerra: i didnt know i was such a neusance thats all
Heidi: why do you have to lie to everyone?
Jerra: what are you talking about?
Jerra: lie about what?
Heidi: Melvin?
Heidi: ringing any bells
Jerra: what about melvin?
Heidi: you fucked him and told everyone you didnt...
Heidi: what the hell
Jerra: i never fucked him
Jerra: whatever
Jerra: im not tryin to lie to anyone
Jerra: shit, everyone knew
Heidi: too much..no need for details imagining you having sex is simply nauseating
Heidi: yes everyone did but you still felt the need to lie
Heidi: real cool
Jerra: i didnt lie
Jerra: im sorry you or anyone else thinks i did
Heidi: oh i know poor innocent little jerra
Heidi: dont tell kim things you dont want others finding out
Jerra: like what?
Heidi: so when you like someone elses b/f then you really shouldnt advertise it
Jerra: i really dont like gus
Jerra: shit, i have a man
Heidi: why must you say you did/ do?
Heidi: for fun
Jerra: what?
Heidi: dont tell kim u want gus if in fact you dont
Jerra: i have never said i like gus
Heidi: ohhh ok i guess gus and i made it up
Jerra: idk
Jerra: i mean gus and melvin are my only friends here
Jerra: so i care about them a lot, but i dont like gus as anything more than a friend
Heidi: whatever then why is it you ahve to be all over him all the time and smile at him all the time and just make it look like you are in love with him
Heidi: Jerra dont fake anyone you dont have a man
Jerra: i smile at everyone, and i dont even hardly talk to him, let alone be all over him
Heidi: y must you lie
Heidi: if u have a mna then y arent you ever with him instead of MY boyfriend
Heidi:????????????
Jerra: yeah, i do, have had several for quite some time...i date, not like im sitting around waiting for gus or melvin
Jerra: because, i have a life outside of my relationship
Heidi: you date huh well then y in the HELL have you been over here every fucking friday and saturday that i have been here until recently
Heidi: yes jerra i too have a life outside of mine but being in a relationship requires seeing each other
Jerra: because my friends are important, i go on dates thursday nights usually cuz i dont have fri school
Heidi: u are SO weird
Heidi: it kills me
Jerra: well not much i can do about that
Heidi: so u see your b/f on thurs. what a helathy relationship
Heidi: and you find it necessary to see my b/f every other second
Jerra: and it doesnt matter what i say, you dont believe anything i say neways
Heidi: no i dont b/c u constantly lie and ppl usually dont believe pathological liars
Jerra: heidi, i just dont understand why you think im after him
Heidi: b/c u ARE
Jerra: i havent lied to you or neone else
Jerra: and im not
Heidi: yes u are!!
Jerra: shit, i swear on my mother's life that i have not ever been, and never will be after gus
Jerra: i cant do anything else to show you that
Jerra: you seem to want to believe it, and its just not true
Heidi: its not that i want to belive that a man is after my b/f!! it is the sheer fact that you are and that you get your kicks off of trying to piss me off
Heidi: you did all of that shit just to piss me off
Heidi: hugged him all the time smiled at him and flirted with him..uh! nauseating
Heidi: leave him alone thats all i aksed you but you couldnt even do that!
Jerra: heidi, i tried to get along with you, and ive never done nething to piss you off
Jerra: i have left him alone
Jerra:): what are you talking about
Jerra: i dont even talk to him when im there
Jerra: like at all
Jerra: i say hi
Jerra: thts it
Jerra: i dont flirt with him, i smile at my friends, and im nice to them, its not that i am flirting
Jerra: i smiled at you, does that mean you think im after you
Jerra: i hugged you?
Jerra: i mean, come one, be logical
Heidi: what the hell ever you are all over him you rub his head when you walk by and jump up to hug him and i mean you jsut TRY to make me mad..if it wouldnt have been for melvin holding me back all the time i would have punched you. OYu should consider yourself lucky Jerra i could have seriously hurt you.
Jerra: if i was just after gus why would i care what you thought, i mean wouldnt i try some shit to get him
Heidi: no b/c u look at me and then you look in the mirror and say whats the point in trying
Heidi: LOL i crack myself up
Heidi: i love gus and he loves me thats why you wouldnt try anything b/c u know it wouldnt work
Heidi: b/c we are in love with each other
Jerra: no, because i dont want him
Jerra: i dont
Jerra: i never have
Jerra: i cant make that any more clear
Jerra: ive been around for a year, dont you think if i wanted him i would have made a move?
Jerra: something?
Heidi: i smile and am nice to my friends too but when they have g/fs and they are around i am very nice to their g/f's and i try to make it seem that i not after them
Heidi: u TRY to piss me off
Jerra: i do not
Jerra: i am nice to you
Jerra: i dont try to piss you off
Heidi: no i mean but oyu make me think you want him
Jerra: after you told me at applebees tht things like me huggin him bothered you, i stopped
Jerra: i stopped talkin to him pretty much at all
Jerra: i dont amke you think anything
Jerra: i try my best to stay away from him
Heidi: YES U SURE AS HELL TRY
Heidi: H/O
Jerra: but you think every thing i do is to piss you off or make you think i want him
Jerra: i dont want to piss you off, i wanted to be friends, i mean i still dont understand what this is all about...i mean i hugged him once in front of you, you said it bothered you, i stopped.,..everything i do makes you mad, makes you think i want him,...i really dont
Heidi: NO NOT EVERYTHING JUST THE LYING AND TOUCHING AND EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED TO HITTING ON MY BOYFRIEND
Heidi: sorry for the caps
Jerra: i havent lied to you
Jerra: i really havent
Jerra: i have no reason to
Heidi: you have lied to everyone
Jerra: about what?
Jerra: melvin?
Heidi: yes and so many other things...i have to go Gus' laundry is done i need to fold it...im too busy for this
So after the last convo I called Gus, and i was like just tell her to leave me alone, well that didn't make her too happy. About an hour after I called him she Ims me again.
Heidi: Wanna whine to me instead?
Jerra: nope
Heidi: Come on Jerra talk to me...if you have so much to say and you are so devastated tell me why you are crying your eyes out
Jerra: you just left, and if you're not gonna listen to me, and sit here and insult me, im not doin it
Jerra: because, you're mean to me with no reason
Jerra: insult me
Jerra: and then dont listen to me
Heidi: i had to leave the damn oven was going off...want me to burn down the god damn house bitch
Jerra: no
Jerra: you said it was laundry
Heidi: u deserve to be insulted and listen up whore if u insult me you are god damn right im gonna do it back
Jerra: i havent insulted you
Heidi:: it was laundry...oven..EVERYTHING at once i was going bananas
Heidi: all the alarms at once!!!
Jerra: lol
Heidi: YES U DID!!!
Jerra: you didnt say that
Heidi: u suck jerra
Jerra: when?
Heidi: u SUCK
Heidi: not only melvin either
Heidi: lol i crack myself up
Jerra: when did i insult you?
Heidi: and remember when i told u that u dont ever leave gus alone..then u call him after u tell em you dont talk to him...PATHOLOGICAL LIAR
Jerra: i dont talk to him, had to look the damn number up
Heidi: remember your message earlier beside your screen name..i hope it happens u fucking whore
Jerra: hope what happens?
Heidi: y call him in the first place...call your own god damn boyfriend since you ahve so fucking many of them slut
Jerra: heidi, I'm sorry we got to this point, I am, and I haven't done nething tp piss you off, so you can be angry, adn you can be mean, i just dont care nemore
Heidi: ya know what there are more important things going on right now just know u fucking suck call me if u wanna fight...u have his cell number now so just call it and cuss me out if u are gonna do it
Jerra: and i'm sorry but i haven't ever slept with anyone
Heidi: just know u fucking suck and i hate you
Jerra: i know
Heidi: HA HA HA HA HA thats hilarious
Heidi:: u lying ass whore
Jerra: you done yet?
Heidi: just leave me AND gus alone...
Jerra: gus is my friend
Jerra: i'll leave you alone
Jerra: and you with gus alone
Jerra: and gus alone
Jerra: but not because you say so
Jerra: I was the one who said i wouldn't come over anymore
Heidi: fuck off u lying ass pretend-to-be-catholic slut bag
Heidi: and everyone was so god damn happy i bet
Jerra: he said he "couldn't tell me not to come over nemore"
Heidi: im going BYE
Jerra: i said i wouldnt
Jerra: bye heidi
Heidi: b/c u are fucking melvin not b/c he likes your dumb manish ass
Heidi: fuck off whore go cry bitch i ahte you
So, at this point, I'm posting for a little reassurance, that it is in fact she who is crazy. I also hope that maybe Gus or Melvin will see this and see what is going on and that I'm not doing anything to being this uppon myself. So there is my drama...it sucks.

MMMM...Goat Breath!

Well, I met a nice boy this week. I had been talking to this guy online for a few weeks. He was nothing special. He was nice, and really wanted to hang out, so finally, when faced with a Thursday night at home, I agreed to meet up with him. So, I got all cute-ed up and ready to go. He called and told me that his car wasn’t working and wanted to know if we could reschedule for Friday night. Well, I couldn’t do it then because I had to crap for the SATs. So he desperately tried to get his roommate to let him use his car, to take a taxi, and then finally I went and begged JJ to drive me over. JJ, being the good guy that he is, agreed. So we drove over to his apartment complex to pick him up…feeling a little old for a chaperoned date, I was a bit nervous. Well when Joey came out, I was very pleasantly surprised. He is about 6’1” or so, reddish-blonde hair, gorgeous amber eyes, both ears pierced, and medium build. He was far more attractive in person. I had complained to Mom earlier that I wasn’t looking forward to meeting him, and how he wasn’t my type. I was now proved very wrong. When we pulled up, he went right up to JJ’s window and shook his hand. He then hopped in the back. Once he had shut his door and we started to pull away, he gave my arm a squeeze and said hi to me. JJ drove us over to a bar and grill place. After he pulled away we decided to go to a pool hall across the street. As we were crossing the street, me in flip-flops, he grabbed by hand and we ran. Unlike other guys, it was ok with me that he grabbed my hand. We got into the pool hall and he got a table. I warned him that I am completely inept at pool. He set up the table and broke. We shot pool for a while, me proving how bad I suck, and him going easy on me. At some point he gave me a hug and told me how glad he was to finally meet me, which was adorable. We finished pool after one game of regular and one of 9 ball. He went and paid and we went over to watch a baseball game on TV. He guided me through the crowd, holding my hand behind him. He was really cool, and I was very surprised that I liked him so much and was so comfortable with him. The rest of the night went well and JJ picked us up later that night. I walked him to his door when we dropped him off… JJ liked him, said he was raised right and polite. I liked him too. So when I got home I called him like he asked me too, and then we talked awhile online. It was nice to meet a nice guy. The next day JJ dropped me off over at his house to hang out for a while while he and the boys went to a movie. We watched movies and talked. He’s just a really cool and fun guy. So Friday was spent studying for the stupid SAT. Well I got up this morning at about 7:15 a.m. It was early to say the least. I had gone to bed the night before around 9 so I would be able to get up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. So JJ drove me over to the school where they were testing. I got inside with the mass of about 100 other students, looked up my room and went in to sit down. The SAT wasn’t bad; we’ll see how I did in a few weeks. After the test JJ picked me up and we went home. Mom got home from taking our goats and Bob…our new kitten who I named…how cute is that for a kitten…I love it. Josh of course had plans to go to a movie, so we drove him to the mall. I just happened to know that there was a Krispy Kreme near by…of course; I’m a fat chick. Mom and I went and got some doughnuts. Then, of course, she decides…hey lets go to the organic food market. Well…let me describe my getup…not outfit, that suggests matching and coordination…this was a getup. I had on a blue “Welcome to Las Vegas” T-shirt, pale pink undershirt, red plaid Kansas City Chiefs boxers, pink sequined flip-flops, and my hair looked very much like a rooster tail. So we go to the market. We walk around, me asking for all the random crap I can think of…mangos, hazelnut juice, hummus mix, cheese, olives…random shit. Then we get to the cheese section. Now, for those of you who have never been blessed with the ability to visit the cheese section, it smells like goat ass. So I try one little cheese sample, its ok, but kind of make me want to hurl. Then, I try some nuts that turn out to be really oily almonds, also kind of make me want to hurl. Finally I see some other cheese. I smell it, and it smells normal. I taste it, it tastes normal. Then…it hits me…this particular cheese tastes like goat. I have goats, and this cheese tastes how they smell…not pretty. So I choke down the goat stink cheese, and resolve to not try any other cheese or oily nuts. I eventually come upon some chocolate cake, but decide not to mix chocolate cake and goat ass…my first good decision of the trip. Then we go to buy JJ beer…mom can’t remember what he likes. I suggest something called “Purple Haze”; apparently JJ wouldn’t like raspberry beer. We decide that I can never buy alcohol because I would pick whatever had the prettiest bottle. I beg mom for “cheapy cheap cheap olives”, which I didn’t get, but got to say “cheapy cheap cheap” like 20 times, so it was all good. We finally make it out of the store and I walk by a kid with one of those mini carts, you know the ones with the little sign that says “Customer in Training”. My 9 weeks of Econ kick in. “You know what I think is disgusting?” I ask Mom. “What?” she says as we pass the flowers. “ Well how sick our society is and how they market to these little kids. You know they actually hire child physiatrists to decide how to market things to kids?” “Don’t you think the red ones are pretty?” mom replies. I giggle…this is the way of things, I ramble on long enough, that I say something valid and mom looks at flowers. I get home and check the phone; no one has called for me. I settle in my room to listen to music and talk online, not too upset that I’m spending Saturday night at home.

October 6, 2005

Welll I'm at school right now, in Econ to be exact. We're watchin Erin Brockavitch in class, which is almost educational. We had our finals today. i'm pissed because my trig final, which i studied for until 4 this morning was really easy. All of the crap on the review that i was worried about turned out to not be on the final at all. My econ final was a stupid essay about corporations that took all of ten minutes to type. So I just thouhgt I'da say hi. I started reading some other blogs today...Ian is really cool, and hilarious, Yoj is gorgouse, and a few other random people. Ok, well back to Julia Roberts.