The Other Shoe

I wrote this yesterday...I no longer feel like I'm crazy...Things have been great lately. Things at home have been really good. We are all busy and have our own things going on. I have school every day, Mom and JJ have work, and both boys have football. Being busy has been good for us. The stress level in the house has been minescule. Things with my friends have also been really good. The problem is, it has been my expieriance that when things are going this well, something will invariably go wrong...or something bad will happen. For thst past week I have had a nagging feeling in the back of my head. I had this feeling that there was something wrong. I have just recently, like within the last two months. been able to go to sleep without being afraid that Dan was going to kill me in my sleep. I used to have to stay up until I fell into bed and passed out to get to sleep. Dan is crazy and that is what makes him dangerous. I've ignored the feeling. I assumed it was just my imagination. Then, I started having the dreams again...terrible dreams...nightmares by all standards. They are all the same...I'm writing it down so maybe it will stop...Mom, JJ, please don't read it, or at least don't comment on it...please...I've been gone, somewhere...I think the Guy's house. I walk in the front door. The whole house is dark (I can't tell if it's late night or early morning). I set my bag on the kitchen table and get a glass of water. I look out and see the dogs are outside, strange only because they usually sleep in with the boys. I rinse my glass and set it in the drying rack. I walk down the hall, as I pass the boy's room I hear their radio blaring...not unusual. I open the door and creep in to turn it off. Now the house is quiet. I go to my room and change into some shorts and a T-shirt. I hear something in the hall, I assume it's mom coming to check on me. I open the door and the hall is empty. I walk to Mom and JJ's room and knock on the door, but it's ajar...so I push it open the rest of the way. It's dark. I walk quietly so I don't wake them. I walk to her side of the bed. I smell something funny like matches. I reach down and touch her shoulder, she feels cold. I start to shake her to wake her up. There is something wet. I turn on the light. I scream. I feel it stop in my throat and sit there. They're both gone. It looks like JJ was first, and Mom woke up from the noise. I'm panicked...I try to think, but my mind is screaming. I run to the boy's room. I notice the blood on the carpet in the pale light from outside. In my mind I just keep saying "No...no...no...please God...no..." I push the door open. I flip the switch. Josh is on the floor. He has a knife from the kitchen in his hand, there's blood on it. "Josh get up, I'm here, it's ok." He doesn't move. "Joshie...we have to get out of here,,,we have to get help...please Josh, get up." The words are always different, but i'm always just begging him to get up. I notice the blood at my feet...the blood in the hall is from when I came in to turn off the radio. Josh too is gone. I throw up. Jacob....where is he. I start screaming for him, I scream at the top of my lungs. I run....it's blurry where I am. Then, I'm in the cellar. I see Jacob huddled in the corner. I start to talk to him. Just when I get to him I hear a bang. I feel it hit me...it hurts. I turn and I see him. His hair is messy...he has a beard now...he's in all black...and he has a gun. I tell Jacob to run and I try get at him. I fall down and then I wake up. I don't know why I keep having it, but I'm tired of waking up crying. I'm not afraid anymore, just angry. I just don't want to keep having this stupid dream. Dan, if you're reading this, if you think you're going to come here andd surprise us...you're wrong. Don't be stupid...live your life and leave us alone...if you come here, you will not like what you find. Ok, well now pretty much everyone thinks I'm crazy....oh well.