Thankful

I’m having one of those days where I think my life sucks, and I’m all kinds of depressed, so I’ve decided to look at the positive stuff in my life. I’m going to make a list of all those things I’m thankful for. So, here it is. I’m thankful for…My family because I know they will always be there for me, My Momma because she has wiped away the tears, kissed away the pain (weather from a skinned knee or heartbreak), she has given me advice even when she knows that I don’t want to hear it, she has taught me to be independent, given me faith in God and the human race, she has taught me that gardening is cheaper than a therapist and just as effective, she has taught me that you can never have too many pets (this includes dogs, ducks, frogs, birds, fish, ducks, goats, dogs, and any other animal who “hasn’t got no family, let’s take he home.”), she has taught me to be strong for myself and my family, she has taught me that brains are more important than beauty, that even though every man may not see your beauty the right one will, she has taught me that beauty comes from the inside and makes the outside glow, she has taught me that it’s okay to cry (in movies, when you’re sad, angry, happy, scared, and any other time you need to), that tears help mend a broken heart, that faith is worth more than all the money in the world, that God takes care of his children, she has taught me that just because someone else is a jerk doesn’t mean you can be, that a woman’s intuition is not to be ignored, that following your heart may get you hurt but you’ll never regret it or say “what if?”, she has taught me that a woman does not need a man to make her whole only to compliment her, that everything you do has an effect on those around you so be careful what you do, that a family’s job is to protect one another’s dignity at all costs, that if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all, that it’s easier to make the wrong decision than it is to undo the damage, she has taught me that you can undo the damage when you make the wrong decision, that I’m worth a lot more than I give myself credit for, that I’m always going to be her baby, that she’s pretty much always right, she’s taught me to admit when I’m wrong, to learn from my mistakes, that God doesn’t care what “flavor” you are as long as you live a good life and love him and others, she’s taught me that family is the most important thing after God, she has taught me to “agree to disagree”, to be bull-headed, to be humble, to be kind, to be generous, to be loving, to be careful, she has taught me that what you put into something is what you get out of it, not to sweat the small stuff, to know where your weaknesses are and work to improve on them and yourself, she has taught me that true love is hard to find and may not come in the time or package we expect, most of all she has taught me sometimes life is hard, but as long as you do what is right and stay close to God, everything will be okay. I am thankful that I am like my Momma, and that I am becoming a woman I can be proud of because of her. I am thankful for my Dad (and now that I think about it, the fact that I can now use that word in a positive way) because even though he isn’t our real dad, he loves us like his own, he has taught me that the right person is out there and will complete you, that God has a sense of humor (look at the Platypus), that not all men are bad, that quiet is precious, that hot sauce is a food group, that big scary bugs can be dealt with by the Dad, that generosity and kindness always come back to you, that even cheesy slasher flicks have value to someone (him), that I don’t like movies with zombies in them (except that one, umm…Shaun of the Dead…there’s that one part where he’s like…dadadadada…arghhh…it’s funny), and most of all that he is not like every other man that has been in Mom’s life, and that he loves her and us with a passion that is admirable. I am thankful for Josh because he has taught me to be patient, look at things closely, all about Star Wars (and every other movie EVER), to appreciate even the smallest things in life, that even the cute guy has problems, to stand up for yourself, to forgive, to love even when you don’t know why, to be thankful, and to have fun and be goofy. I’m thankful for Jacob because he shows me every day how to love unconditionally, he has taught me that dancing to the tune of a different drummer is not a bad thing, that even the stinky kid has feelings, tolerance, patients, tenderness, that a hug from those little arms can make the world seem right, that when I’m sad he’ll be right there with me crying too, that I am a role model and he watches my every move, most of all he has taught me that there is always something worth living for and someone there for you when you need them, and that when God gives you a second chance you can’t waste it. Jacob is a precious gift that we almost lost very early in his life, so I am thankful for him every day and every second with him is precious (even when he’s having a “rain-man” day). I am thankful for my Papaw. He has taught me so much about faith, God, morality, values, and life in general. He has taught me that family matters, that chivalry is still alive, that true love is unconditional, that there are good men in the world, that when you do things the right way the first time it’s much easier than fixing them after doing them the wrong way, he’s taught me not to cry over spilled milk (just leave the room and come back after it’s cleaned up), that golf balls can make it all the way across the river and into the woods on the other side, that a dog is man’s best friend, that grandparents are there to love and spoil, and only punish when they must, that wisdom comes not only with age, but with experience, that you can’t control others but you can control yourself, that strength is not only physical, that faith is important, he’s taught me that prayer is stronger than any medicine, that cancer is like a football game, most of all my Grandpa has taught me to be a good person, and to wait for a man who treats me like he treats my Grandma. I am thankful for my Memaw because she has always been there for me, she always has candy at the lake, she has taught me that root beer is a food group, that dogs do wear clothes, that meatloaf is good, that some people can wear neon pink lipstick, that Shaklee makes everything (and it’s always the best), that modesty is important, that honesty and integrity are valuable, that abstinence saves you from a lot of heartbreak, that computers are confusing, and that you are always learning. My Gram has been there for the family and I through it all, and loves us even when we mess up. I am thankful for Joe because he has taught me that sometimes people let the best things, those that would save them, and those that they need more than anything slip through their fingers, that you can’t miss someone you don’t know, but it still breaks your heart every time you think about them, that the father-shaped piece missing in my heart is very small, even un-noticeable. I am thankful for Dan because he has taught me that I am strong, that we (Mom, Josh, Jake, and I) will always be okay, no matter what adversity we may face, that crazy people don’t all wear straight jackets, that evil is not some intangible idea, but a man named Dan Brock, that only a coward hits a child, that only a coward runs from a 16 year old girl, that only a coward hits a woman, that nothing good comes from revenge (well except Sprite on window sills, a dead squirrel in a closed van in the heat of summer, or seeing someone who has tormented, hurt, insulted, and made you feel unsafe and in fear of your life arrested) unless it’s from God (then it’s flippin sweet), that moving on and rebuilding lives takes only as long as you let it, and that although there are men out there who are evil and dangerous, there are also those who are good and will protect you. I am thankful for my friends. Laurel because she knows everything about me and loves me just the same, knew me before I was cool and was my friend, is honest, is like a sister to me, cares about me, shares her life with me, and most of all because she is there for me when I need her and gives me invaluable advice. Megan because she has taught me to have faith and confidence in myself, and that being a social-butterfly is exhausting and drama-ridden. Heather because she has taught me to take school seriously and being smart doesn’t mean that you are mature. I am thankful for all my friends through the years, they have all left an indelible mark on my heart and my life. I am thankful for young love, Grant because he taught me not to listen to what other people say and to follow your heart, Evan because he taught me that there is a fine line between a crush and stalking (one which I crossed and danced back and forth on multiple times), and that you can’t make someone love you, you can just make yourself someone who can be loved, Hittle because he taught me that a good friend does not always make a good boyfriend, Pfarr because he taught me to be strong in my faith, and that there really are great guys out there, Caleb because he taught me that infatuation makes you stupid, Jonathan because he taught me that honesty in vital in a relationship, you can’t force chemistry, there really are kisses that make your toes curl and your heart flutter, chivalry is a charming trait, some men are not men at all, what a good father looks like, to work hard and within your means, to take a chance even if you could get hurt, age doesn’t determine maturity, that some things are worth waiting for, and some are not, and that sometimes you just have to wait for the right time for love. I’m thankful for all my pets because they have taught me how precious and fragile life is and that unconditional love can be found in the strangest places. I am thankful for all the material things I have. I am thankful for the rain because it’s warm, smells sweet, seems to wash away all the bad things, makes the flowers grow, and brings back happy memories of carefree days and nights. I am thankful for the beauty that surrounds me every day in nature and in the people around me. I am thankful for the bad that I see and experience because it helps me to recognize and appreciate the good. I am thankful for my past, present, and future. I am thankful for all those people, experiences, things, hurts, joys, and places that have made me the woman I am proud to be.