Hewwo

I haven't written one of these in quite a while. I guess that I've just been too busy. I write on my myspace, but those are far less thought out or in depth. Everyone reads my Myspace, so things just can't always be as specific as I would like, and at times things can't be said at all. I like school, More now than before. I've been doing makeup for the play that is being put on right now. I'm exausted and can't wait until it's over and I can be human again, but its good. I go to work in the morning, followed by class with a 20 minute break to eat, then about two hours to study or sleep, then a shower, and off to the theater by 6...there until 11:30, whatever cast stuff after...usually well into the night, sleep, and then I try to function the next day. I drink a lot of coffee...and some energy drinks. I know my classes are suffering a little bit, but I'll have time to make everything ok before our final grade is taken. This kinda feels like home. I like it here, more than I thought I would. I have a great group of friends, and other than some drama from time-to-time, things are good. From every window there is a beautiful view. There are castles, fall leaves, deer, and amazing skies. It's breath-taking. I walk to work every morning. Its cold. That is about the only thing that I hate doing; walking in the cold. I am a writter at heart, but I have never been so tired of writting in my life...essay...after essay...after essay...you get the idea. I doubt they care about my oppinion as much as they want me to think that I'm being heard. This week is over, soon at least, and I couldn't be happier. My back and neck hurt now on top of everything else. Cat is coming to see me this weekend. I'm so glad. I miss him. I know I just saw him last week, but I still miss him. He misses me too...he told me so. I love when he says that...I guess it just makes everything worth while to know that he misses me too...and that I'm not in this alone. He told me once, in a moment of pure emotion, when I was doubting us..."You make me want to be a better man." I know its a movie line...I know its cheesey...I know that at that moment I knew I could never be this happy with anyone else. I melted like butter. He does that to me...reminds me that I'm human...and a girl. He holds doors for me and hold my hand. He takes care of me when I'm sick. I haven't ever been this happy, that I can remember. There are days when this all seems too hard...when I feel like I'm drowning and the chance of failing seems great...and I fear disappointing all those I love. Those days are hard, but then I talk to him. I see how hard he is working for his future, our future, and I can't justify not working just as hard. He puts things in perspective and me in my place. He treats me like a princess, but he doesn't let me get away with shit. He's my rock...he keeps me sane...he makes me smile...and he is the man that I love. Wow...I just said that. I do, its just I can't seem to tell him that. I think he knows, he must know. I don't think he needs me to tell him...maybe. Eventually. Well, I have to get back to work. I'll be back here eventually.