I collect broken people

I realized today...I collect broken people. I surround myself with others like myself, but broken. I choose people with bits missing...not physically, but spiritually or is it mentally. I suppose everyone is broken to some extent. My problem is that I try to fix them. I accept them for who they are, but deep down I think I can fix them, I can love them enough to heal their hurt. I guess it's a way of avoiding my own...I'm so busy fixing other people that i don't hurt so bad. One night I was talking to Joey about Jonathan. I'm not sure how it came up. I started telling him everything about what had happened with Jonathan. As I relayed the whole sordid tale...I started to feel sad. I had really loved him, but it didn't matter. I guess that my age was a big factor. I had successfully pushed thoughts of Jonathan out of my mind until last week. Melvin told me that he isn't doing good...i guess he's in a lot of debt. So there I went, thinking about him again. All those old wounds opened up. It pisses me off...why can't I just get over him. What did he do that was so damn wonderful? Nothing! Still, I will probably always love him, nad there is one of my missing pieces...one that makes me broken. He will always have a piece of my heart. Oh well, that is the way of thing...I've come to learn. Some day I will look back on all this and be glad for the way things happened. I can;t tell you the number of times that I prayed for God to bring Jonathan back to me...to give me one more chance. The other day I heard a country song "Thank God for unanswered prayers"...