Back in the saddle again

I know...yet again it has been awhile since I last graced you with my presence. I have in fact been busy. Life has just not stopped. I keep waiting to take a breath, to be able to just step back, but if I'm not sleeping then there is work to be done. The house seems to just stay messy. Despite my efforts, things just don't stay clean...there is always laundry to do, dishes to wash, floors to sweem, animals to feed, rooms to clean, clothes to fold...you get the idea. Since I'm home most of the day, I try to get as much done as possible to help mom out...granted most nights I stay up late and then don't roll out of bed until late afternoon, but as soon as I get up, I get to work. Things at the house have been a bit tense. Mom is sick and stressed, Justin is looking for a job and has yet to have any luck, Josh is sick and in trouble again, and Jacob...well, he's Jacob. I've been gone nearly every weekend, taking my down-time. Most weekends I spend with melissa, seeing as Joey is now too busy for me.

Yeah, things with Joey are slowly coming to an end...our lives are going in different places. I know this, and I think he knows this, but neither of us is quite ready to let go. I guess I'm just trying to learn as much as possible from this. So, that's all I want to say about that.

School is good. That trig class that I had an F in, I'm now passing with an A. I'm very sorry to say that it was in fact the teacher's fault. I would take some personal responsibility, except I did everything in my power to pass tha5t class. It was the stupid teacher. oh well, i'm sure there was a reason for all this.

Mom is sick. Josh is sick. My thraot hurts...thanks guys.

Jacob in the car today "Mom, when I grow up I'm going to become a priestess and bless crap...then it would be holy crap." I love that kid.

Ya know, i guess it's bad that I've become so cynical in that last year or so. i have this notion that all relationships are doomed to fail...well all of mine at least. i know I'm young and I'll "meet the right guy some day", but when is someday, and why can't it be now. I don't understand why I have to do all this dating crap. It sucks.

Cat is wonderful. The other night he actually managed to make me feel pretty...a hefty task. He told me that I am beautiful and smart and amazing and I don't need to change at all or lose any weight. That was really nice to hear. Of course he did throw in that a pair of, umm...larger boobs wouldn't hurt. Then of course all three men at the table chimed in and said that I'd be dangerous then because I'd really be like perfect. I'm pretty sure I was all sorts of blushing. I love those guys.

I saw a truck that had nuts today. They were red and ginormous.

I want a tattoo, well I want three tattos that I drew myself and they are really neat. I need a job so i can get them.

I really need a job.

Melvin said that Cat and I would make an interesting couple...maybe he's right. We've had this constant thing between us. We both flirt, but neither of us is willing to make the first move. Oh well...i guess good things come to those who wait.

I'm not tired, but i think if I keep typing I'll say something stupid or that requires explination.

Night ya'll...sweet dreams, sleep tight.