Love is when you never have to say your sorry

Tonight, as I drove away from my three best friends in the world, I knew that nothing would ever be the same again. I knew that this one day, that one man, and that one phone call had irrevocably changed my life forever. I knew that no matter what I could never go back to the way things were. I had to pull over as soon as they were out of sight (I didn't want them to see me break down). As I sat there, face pressed to the wheel, tears streaming down my face, the sound of a person gasping for air and grasping for a shred of stability in a time of turbulence coming from my own mouth, I realized that they had done nothing. They who knew that chocolate is a band-aid, and tears make a girl feel better, they had done nothing, and yet they were losing a dear friend. Every time I was one of them try to hide their tears, or glance at me with a huge burden in their eyes, I knew that what was happening was me growing up. I am learning that when you love someone that much, with every ounce of your being, when you would die for them, it hurts that much more to have to say goodbye. I have never felt pain like this before. A pain that starts in my chest and works it way through my throat to my eyes, where it manifests itself as tears. These aren't regular tears, but tears that may one day cost that man his life. These tears are tears of pain...Real pain, the pain of losing all you love and hold dear, and for what?? For nothing, I have done nothing. They have done nothing. As I drove back, tears blinded me, stung my face, and burned hot on my lips. I knew that I would make it, and I wiped my eyes, turned up the radio, and sung like a drunk Irishman at a pub (loud and off key). It warmed my heart to know that I had touched people, that I was loved even with my many flaws, and that I would be ok.